10 Days In

How Survivors See Themselves in a New Anti-Trafficking Program

Survivors bring with them a unique set of survival skills honed through their lived experiences of exploitation and violence. These skills, developed under extreme circumstances, often become essential tools as they navigate the challenges of entering a new residential program. During the first 10 days, survivors may rely on these skills in various ways as they work to establish their own sense of safety and control in an unfamiliar environment.

Many survivors possess heightened situational awareness, a skill cultivated to ensure safety in volatile circumstances. In a residential program, this often manifests as careful observation of staff behavior, group dynamics, and program rules before fully engaging. Survivors may test boundaries or exhibit noncompliance, not out of defiance but as a way to evaluate whether the environment is genuinely safe and trustworthy.

Years of betrayal or manipulation can make survivors hesitant to trust others. As a result, they may withhold personal information or engage in minor acts of defiance to gauge how staff and peers respond. These behaviors allow survivors to determine whether the people around them are consistent, empathetic, and capable of handling their vulnerabilities without judgment.

Survivors often use strategies to manage intense emotions, such as compartmentalization, emotional suppression, or outward expressions like anger or frustration. In a structured program, these responses might be misunderstood as resistance or instability. However, they are often efforts to cope with overwhelming feelings and regain a sense of control over their circumstances.

Advocating for themselves is another survival skill survivors may bring into a program. They might request exceptions to rules or additional privileges, drawing on negotiation tactics they used to protect themselves in dangerous situations. While this behavior can sometimes cause friction with staff, it is also a sign of resilience and emerging agency as survivors begin to articulate their needs.

Uncertainty is often a significant trigger for survivors who have lived in unpredictable and unsafe conditions. Their survival skills may include a strong preference for clarity, consistency, and routine to minimize anxiety. Programs that provide transparent expectations and clear communication can help survivors feel more secure and less overwhelmed during their transition.

What may initially seem like problematic behaviors—such as testing boundaries, withholding trust, or asserting control—are often the very skills that enabled survivors to endure and overcome exploitation. Recognizing and reframing these actions as strengths can help programs build rapport with survivors and support their recovery. By understanding how survivors use their survival skills to navigate difficulties, service providers can create trauma-informed environments that meet survivors where they are. These early days are about more than just adjusting to a new setting; they are an opportunity to validate survivors’ resourcefulness and resilience, helping them channel those skills into their healing journey.

The Value of Trust

Survivors of trauma, particularly those in residential programs, often act out as a way to test the trustworthiness and consistency of their environment and the people within it. These behaviors are typically rooted in past experiences of betrayal, manipulation, or punishment and serve as a protective mechanism to determine if the program is genuinely safe. Survivors may consciously or unconsciously engage in actions to gauge how staff will respond and whether they can trust them.

One way survivors test trust is through noncompliance with rules, such as arriving late to group sessions, skipping meals, or ignoring curfews. For example, a survivor may skip a required therapy session to see if staff will show compassion for their anxiety or enforce consequences without listening to their concerns. Withholding information is another common behavior. Survivors may avoid sharing details about their past or struggles to see if staff will respect their boundaries or pressure them into disclosing more.

Survivors may also test boundaries by asking for exceptions or engaging in minor acts of defiance, like requesting extra privileges, to see if the program’s rules are applied fairly. Emotional outbursts—expressing anger, frustration, or sadness in ways that appear disproportionate to the situation—can also be a way to determine if staff can handle their emotions without judgment or punishment.

While these behaviors might seem defiant, they are often subconscious attempts to recreate patterns from the past and see if this new environment will break those cycles. 

Trauma-informed staff can recognize these actions as opportunities to build trust and reduce many of the anxieties and by responding with consistency, empathy, and understanding, staff can help survivors feel safe and supported, paving the way for deeper healing and growth.

Day 1: Cautious Relief

Upon arrival, survivors may feel a mix of relief and skepticism. Leaving behind chaos or danger offers a sense of safety, but trust in the system or staff takes time to build. Initial processes such as assessing needs, introducing rules, and safety planning can feel overwhelming but are essential for establishing stability.

When Trust Is Built

Anna, a 24-year-old survivor, arrived late at night after escaping a dangerous situation. Exhausted and clutching her belongings, she was warmly greeted by a staff member. Though the kindness offered hope, Anna’s mind raced with questions: “Can I trust these people? Will they really help me?” During intake, Anna hesitated to share details about her past. Noticing her discomfort, a staff member reassured her: “You’re safe here. We’re here to help you at your pace.”

After being given clean clothes, toiletries, and a meal, Anna was shown to her private room and provided with a schedule for the next day. By focusing on safety and showing empathy, the staff helped Anna take her first step toward building trust. She began to feel seen, valued, and capable of moving forward.

When Trust Is Broken

Sophia, a 27-year-old survivor, had a much different experience. Dropped off at a crowded common area, she felt exposed and unsafe. During intake, deeply personal questions were asked without explanation, and when Sophia hesitated, the staff member said curtly, “We need this information to help you.” Assigned to a shared room with little guidance, Sophia felt confused and vulnerable. Lying awake that night, she thought, “They don’t care about me. They just want to control me.” Feeling disregarded, Sophia withdrew from staff and resisted engaging in the program.

Days 2–3: Overwhelmed by Rules and Routines

The structure of the program can feel restrictive or confusing to survivors. Survivors often worry about meeting expectations or fear being penalized for noncompliance.

When Rules Are Introduced Well

Maria, a 22-year-old survivor, felt anxious about remembering all the program’s rules. When a staff member noticed her unease, they reassured her: “It’s normal to feel this way. We’re here to help you get used to things at your own pace.” Later, when Maria forgot about a group meeting, the staff member gently reminded her and encouraged her to attend the next session. By fostering a supportive environment, the staff eased Maria’s fears and helped her begin to trust the program.

When Rules Are Mishandled

Emily, a 29-year-old survivor, felt overwhelmed by unclear expectations. On the second morning, she missed breakfast because she didn’t realize meals were served within a limited time. A staff member scolded her, saying, “You need to follow the schedule.” Later, when Emily arrived late to a group session, the facilitator reprimanded her in front of others. Feeling humiliated, Emily began withdrawing, thinking, “They don’t care about me—they just want me to obey their rules.”

Days 4–5: The Weight of Trauma

As the initial shock fades, survivors begin to feel the emotional weight of their experiences. Emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear often resurface, which can be disorienting and painful.

When Trauma Is Validated

Renee, a 25-year-old survivor, felt like she was falling apart as memories of her trauma surfaced. Noticing Renee’s distress, her case manager reassured her: “This is normal. Your feelings are valid.” The case manager provided grounding techniques and encouraged Renee to join an art therapy session. By day five, Renee felt relief, realizing her reactions were steps on the path to recovery.

When Trauma Is Dismissed

Marcus, a 30-year-old survivor, struggled with vivid memories and difficulty sleeping. When a staff member noticed his withdrawal, they brusquely said, “You need to follow the program like everyone else.” During a group session, Marcus was reprimanded for speaking out of turn. Feeling dismissed, Marcus withdrew further, thinking, “They just want me to behave—they don’t understand what I’m going through.”

Days 6–7: Facing Emotional Vulnerabilities

By day six, survivors often begin to lower their guard as they grow more familiar with the program and staff. However, this can also lead to heightened emotional vulnerability as the protective barriers they've built over time start to come down.

When Vulnerability Is Met with Empathy

Jasmine, a 26-year-old survivor, felt overwhelmed by feelings of shame and guilt as she began reflecting on her past experiences. During a one-on-one session, her counselor listened attentively, validated her emotions, and said, “Your feelings are natural, and you’re not to blame for what happened to you.” Encouraged to express herself through journaling, Jasmine felt heard and understood, taking her first steps toward self-forgiveness.

When Vulnerability Is Overlooked

Daniel, a 28-year-old survivor, began withdrawing from group activities due to resurfacing trauma. A staff member told him to “toughen up and participate.” Feeling dismissed, Daniel concluded that his struggles were a burden to others, leading him to disengage from the program. This lack of empathy made him question whether healing was even possible.

Days 8–9: Building Connections and Exploring Strengths

As survivors adapt to the program’s structure, opportunities to build connections with peers and rediscover personal strengths become key to fostering hope and resilience.

When Peer Support Thrives

Sara, a 21-year-old survivor, hesitated to connect with others at first. During a group session on day eight, another survivor shared a similar story, and Sara realized she wasn’t alone. Encouraged by the facilitator, Sara joined a recreational activity, where she laughed for the first time in weeks. The growing sense of camaraderie reminded her she had the power to rebuild relationships and trust others.

When Peer Support Falters

Liam, a 32-year-old survivor, felt isolated when his attempts to connect with peers were ignored. Without structured opportunities to build relationships or staff encouragement to foster inclusivity, Liam felt excluded and began doubting whether he belonged in the program. This reinforced his feelings of unworthiness and mistrust.

Day 10: Signs of Resilience and Hope

By the tenth day, survivors often show early signs of resilience, even if their journey remains fraught with challenges. Programs that emphasize strengths-based approaches help survivors see their progress, no matter how small, and encourage hope for the future.

When Strengths Are Celebrated

On her tenth day, Mia, a 24-year-old survivor, completed her first art project in therapy. Her counselor praised her creativity and resilience, saying, “This is amazing—it shows how strong you are.” That evening, Mia reflected on her ability to adapt and grow, realizing she had taken meaningful steps toward reclaiming her life.

When Progress Goes Unnoticed

Carlos, a 29-year-old survivor, attended every scheduled session and tried to engage, but his efforts were met with indifference from staff. Feeling unseen, Carlos questioned whether his progress mattered. Without acknowledgment of his efforts, his motivation waned, and he began considering leaving the program.

A Critical Window for Healing

The first 10 days in a program offer survivors an opportunity to rebuild trust and begin healing. Trauma-informed care, coupled with clear communication and empathy, can empower survivors to envision a path forward. By acknowledging their struggles, celebrating small wins, and offering personalized support, programs can help survivors see themselves not as broken but as resilient individuals capable of reclaiming their lives.